Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs?
Right Where You Left Him.
What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?
What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work?
What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
Anyone Can Roast Beef.
Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck
1. All the DNA is the same.
2. There are no dental records.
How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?
Unique Up On It.
How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?
Tame Way, Unique Up On It.
How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest?
They Take The Psycho Path
How Do You Get Holy Water?
You Boil The Hell Out Of It.
What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long?
What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?
What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow?
What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire?
What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?
A Nervous Wreck.
Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
Because They Have Big Fingers.
Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?
Because It Scares The Dog.
What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?
What Is The Difference Between a Harley And a Hoover?
The Location Of The Dirt Bag.
Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?
Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat.
What's The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver?
A Bad Golfer Goes, Whack, Dang!
A Bad Skydiver Goes Dang! Whack.
How Are a Texas Tornado And a Tennessee Divorce The Same?
Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer
Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex,
marriage, and values. Stu said, "I didn't sleep with my wife
before we got married, Did you?" Leroy replied, "I'm not
sure, What was her maiden name?"
A little boy went up to his father and asked:
"Dad, where did I get all of my intelligence?"
The father replied. "Well son, you must have gotten it from
your mother, cause I still have mine"
"Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very
carefully," the divorce Court Judge said, "And I've decided
to give your wife $775 a week," "That's very fair, your
honor," the husband said. "And every now and then I'll try
to send her a few bucks myself,"
A doctor examined a woman, took the husband
aside, and said, "I don't like the looks of your wife at
all." "Me neither doc," said the husband. "But she's a great
cook and really good with the kids."
Two Mexican detectives were investigating the
murder of Juan Gonzalez. "How was he killed?" asked one
detective. "With a golf gun," the other detective replied.
"A golf gun?! What is a golf gun?"
"I don't know. But it sure made a hole in Juan."
This guy has been sitting in a bar all night,
staring at a blonde wearing the tightest pants he's ever
seen. Finally his curiosity gets the best of him, so he
walks over and asks, "How do you get into those pants?" The
young woman looks him over and replies, "Well, you could
start by buying me a drink."
A man is recovering from surgery when a nurse asks
him how he is feeling. "I'm O.K. but I didn't like the
four-letter-word the doctor used in surgery," he answered.
"What did he say," asked the nurse.