THE CROATIAN WORLD MAGARAC CONGRESS IS IN SESSION
By Sjor Adam S. Eterovich
The MAGARAC SELECTION COMMITTEE meets once each year to select the NEW MAGARAC OF THE YEAR. The Delegates were deadlocked last year and the committee is again overwhelmed with prospective candidates.
MAGARAC
Magarac is a very popular and numerous name and clan in Croatia. They can be found from the smallest villages to the largest cities. The English pronunciation of Magarac would be Magaratz.
The Magarac Clan intermarried frequently with Bedak, Budala, Berekin, Lulavac, Mulac, Magare, Guzich, Prasac-Pajceg and Jarac. Pennsylvania became the center of American Magarac's although some did go to Chicago and Nome, Alaska. The Magarac Izvan Domovina Society was formed by the Patriarch of the Clan, Jozo Magarac, in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania in 1863. A sister city arrangement was made recently with Ljubuski, Hercegovina since the great majority hail from there.
The Magarac-Zagorac Clan were granted coats of arms for valor at the Battle of Moscow with Napoleon in 1812. Napoleon granted them the honor of grapes in their arms-sour grapes. The three dice were awarded during their first World Magarac Congress held at Las Vegas, Nevada for being sore losers and the three playing cards were incorporated into the crown for the three Magarac brothers who did in three gypsy fortune tellers in Southern Serbia in 1689; and, well, any old Magarac can recognize the Magarac in the center of the shield. Magarac's can be proud of the good name and age old traditions they transplanted to America.
Many Magarac's can trace their genealogy to the fall of Bosnia to the Turks in 1469, when they were expelled and later settled in Split, Lika, Gorski Kotar, Ljubuski and the Island of Brac. The Island of Brac has been turned into a National Magarac Preserve and Park. Licani are still trying to round them up, or who is chasing whom.
The concern was so great to protect this clan that women of Croatia formed the Hrvatski Demokratski Zenski za Zastitu Magaraca, HDZ ZM (maz ni ga ZM), or Zenski Democratic Alliance for the Preservation of Magarac's, ZDAPM, or ZAPEM. American-Croatian women took up this concern and formed an American branch called the Croatian-American Ecological Society for Protection of Magarac's, CAESPM, or chase EM in the PM before the AM. They meet each Sunday morning, early, to discuss the Saturday night events of all the Magarac's in America and record their most outstanding activities. Their record books have become so voluminous that they recently purchased tape-recording equipment to keep up with Magarac deeds. Croatian women claim there is a little Magarac blood in all Croatian men; when none is found they are sent to Ljubuski and Brac for retraining and indoctrination; On-the-job training is provided in Zagreb.
The Croatian and Croatian-American Magarac's can be found in high social and governmental positions where they do their best work. Their civic and political accomplishments are outstanding in Zagreb, Cleveland, Chicago, Los Angeles, San Jose, Biloxi and Toronto.
When Islam under Suleiman the Great conquered the Balkans, many Magarac's moved West and East in the 16th Century.
The Italian clan, known today as Magaraciolo, hold high social and civic positions. This is why Italy is in such good shape and spaghetti is hard to eat.
The Magarac-Mulac Clan moved East into Russia, this branch is now under Patriarch Ivan Ivanovich Magaracov; and for valiant service under Czar Petar were awarded the city of Petromagaracov in Siberia. This is why Russia is in such good shape.
The Magarac-Lulavac Clan moved farther West into Spain. They are known today as Martinez-Magaracez. Juan de Magaracez discovered Antofogasta, Chile in the 16th Century and transfered Magarac culture to the New World. This is why Chile is in such good shape.
The Magarac-Hey Mate or kako si Mate clan immigrated to Australia; they couldn’t find a Magarac, so they crossed a Magarac with a kangaroo and it is called a Magoo or Magoovich. This is why West Australia is in such good shape.
Zbigniew Magaracowski, head of the Polish Clan, organized the Trade Union Movement in Poland. This why Poland is in such good shape.
Abdulah Ibn-Ben Magarac of the Bosnian Clan claims all Magarac's originated in Bosnia and intensely resents the later claim of Hercegovina. Abdullah Ibn states, without qualification, that Bosnia is in the greatest shape of all.
Perhaps the most famous Magarac of all is the legendary Joe Magarac, the man of steel who was able to bend redhot steel bars with his teeth and was able to shape hot steel ingots with his bare hands. Pittsburgh honored Joe Magarac by placing a huge metal engraving of the legendary steelman above the old Manchester Bridge. When the bridge was torn down, the life-size engraving was preserved in the park on North Side Pittsburgh where it remains today. Now, that's a lot of Magarac.